Monday, November 24, 2008

A Conversation with Helge

Helge: you there honey
me: Awww, yeah
Helge: yo!
me: I heard yesterday's race was epic.
Helge: yeah, real fun
me: Something about an alligator pit and flames?
Helge: croc pit actually
me: Oh, dang, that's right.
Helge: 14 foot flames 4 feet wide
me: Were there any maneating plants coming out of green pipes?
And plumbers?
Helge: yeah but I ate some killer shrooms and blasted them with my balls
me: We need to have a Super Mario Bros. race next year at DeKalb.
Helge: I mean fireballs
me: ahhhhhh
Helge: nice
me: Set up a water pit. Or run the race into the river.
Helge: That'd be great
me: Woah...we should make it so that you have to swim across the river to get through the course.
Helge: I"m sure the dudes with 5K bikes would love that!
me: Those dudes on $5K bikes need to unclench those heinies a little.
Relax and let it all out.
Helge: that will never happen
me: Yeah. That's why they aren't on Half Acre. They aren't awesome enough.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure that my bike is worth 5k and I would totally swim across a gross river in a cross race if I needed too. Plus the guys with super fancy bikes are probably racing Triathalons during the summer and already are used to swimming.

Julie said...

fireballs would be awesome. and we need a princess to give kisses at the finish line.

Anonymous said...

A "Super Mario" course sounds like a damn fine time to me. Water crossings, sand pits, the works! I think it was Adrian who mentioned that he'd love to hold a cross race on a gold course: the grass is trimmed, there are already sand bunkers and there are lakes!

Doctor Who said...

Other CX Course Ideas:

1. "'49ers": A race that winds down into a creek where you have to dig for gold, all the while dodging the kicks of a team of randy mules. Flannel and original Levi's dungarees required.

2. "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea": A 'cross race with the course a straight line from Montrose Harbor to Water Crib #3, 1.5 miles out in the lake.

3. "Nights in White Satin": A night race in which both men and women racers must wear their skivvies. Barriers include a four-post bed and a hot tub. Lotion and massage oil handups mandatory.

Anonymous said...

oh this is too funny. it just made my morning!

Anonymous said...

This is just too great. You totally made my morning!