Eh.

Full of the self-loathing, bile and spit right now. The only thing keeping me on the bike right now is cyclocross in the fall. I've posted up a schedule of the races I've done/am planning to do, and they're all the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I am in dire need of some fun social time on the bike – my schedule's not afforded me much of that, but I'm aiming to change that up this week.

I am doing the Hampshire TT tomorrow, which I am kinda afraid of doing. I feel like I'll be slow as a drugged sloth and that I won't deserve to wear the skinsuit that's sitting, unworn, in my kit drawer. But, I'm doing it anyway, 'cause I like time-trialing. I've given up on mass-start road races – I've seen too many bad crashes and the risk/reward payoff, at least for me, is nil. I've won some big races, and I've found my true bike-love in the form of 'cross. I'll let big guns such as Chris Padfield take on and slaughter those squirrels in the crits – he's faster than me and I don't like losing to friends.

Oh, and despite my better judgment, I've registered for the 200K Insane Terrain Challenge up in Wisconsin. 12,400 feet of climbing over 121 miles. The longest I've ever ridden is 90 miles, so this might prove to be one humiliating day on the bike. But, I've paid my entry fee, and I've got friends in the ride, so there ain't no backing out now. I figure it's going to be a 7-8 hour day on the bike – I'm going to push hard with any comers, so if I can get below 7, maybe 6.5, I'll be really happy. Maybe I'll just keel over on some hill and they can drag my carcass into a ditch and leave me for good. That way I won't have to complete the damn thing and I won't have to ride a bike ever again.